Stop Making New Year's Resolutions

This is how you commit, contain, and complete the goals you set for yourself before the end of this year.

Every year countless individuals make the promise to themselves, and maybe others, they are going to finally kick that habit, make it happen, and change into the person they wish they could be. Maybe it's to quit smoking. Maybe you want to lose some weight or go to the gym consistently. You might even want to focus more on family. Whatever it is, most of those resolutions will be over without any real progress happening. No lasting change or benefit will take place for the majority, and you're left in a worse position than before you made the attempt. You're worse off now because not only are you doing or not doing the same behavior, now you're a failure, too.

Failure is an important component of any process. Stories of inventors learning how not to do something. Athletes becoming all time greats because they took all those shots that never scored. Business gurus finding several ways not to make money. Failure is undoubtedly, "part of the process". And for those with an insatiable passion and desire for their craft, it's OK to fail. But, for a lot of us, it stops us dead in our tracks. All momentum, physically as well as mentally, comes to a screeching halt.

When most of us set goals, we do so with an all or nothing mentality. We get amped up, psych ourselves up to the point we make the ultimate goal of what we think would be the best case scenario if everything happened like it should. The picture perfect outcome is rarely what people experience the first go around. When we have these grandiose ideas and goals, any deviation that doesn't show forward progress is a failure. And failing feels a lot different than winning. So we pack it up, call it a day, stick a fork in ourselves (or cheesecake if you eat when you feel bad), and tuck our tail and go home. The difference between one long term goal sabotaged by any deviation and creating tiny wins we are confident we can achieve each day is the distinction. Goal setting should include monthly, weekly, and even daily goals. Break them down to smaller components that provide us with frequent wins that require less effort than the all or nothing outcome model. And we don't stop when we encounter a problem. We take a step back and evaluate what is happening and how to mitigate any further losses.

Most games we play are not unilateral in the winning team's or individual's progress. There are moments when the lead is exchanged as points are scored or position is traded. We don't call it a game when one team has any amount of points more than the opponent. Play continues and we work to get it back. As should be the case in our daily lives when we are attempting to achieve our respective goals. Smaller goals and wins are key. This allows us to have shitty days, weeks, even months. Because tomorrow will come and if we stick to the plan, everything will work out. One step forward, two steps back happens all the time. But if you have a blueprint and a pretty good idea what you should be doing and what your particular success looks like, you can continue on. And you can start today.

Waiting to start because you plan to make a New Year's resolution is more of an excuse than anything else. It puts off an important aspect of your life that shouldn't be put off any longer. It's also a way for everyone to be in it together. We like not being alone. Having others suffer with us or endure some type of hardship and work towards a common goal helps us to continue moving forward. We follow the herd and make our promises the same time as everyone else. Problem is, not everyone else is helping you with your goal. If you can find support around you like family and friends, fantastic. But relying on anyone else is a great way to find another loophole for not reaching what you know you are capable of. Create a standard and hold yourself accountable.

So get on with the SMART goals, start today, and give yourself some grace when reflecting on your day or week and how things are going. But remember that big change happens from incremental and repetitive actions. Good luck!